Have the Trump Bucks hit your accounts? If not, check out these sweet deals to stimulate the American economy.
Your $1,200 could get you:
300 Big Macs from McDonald’s but make sure you bring your stretchy pants and the guilt of burying your future ancestors in global debt. In case you missed it, the Bigger Mac and Lil Mac are on the way. It’s the news we needed.
- 12 years of a Brazzers subscription. It is free right now, I heard from a friend.
- 7 and 1/2 years of Disney +, Hulu, and ESPN+ subscriptions to take your eyes off your bank account and back on the new virtual bread and circuses.
- 1,500 of Ching’s finest wings in Honey Gold or Honey Hot. Just the way the city of Memphis wants them eaten at home with a bathtub full of blue cheese.
- 659 gallons of gas an American can buy at the national average. Sit on a tanker and help the gang solve the next gas crisis.
- 51 Pre Rolled Khalifa Kush Joints. Maybe the post office will have enough money to deliver them.
- 1 bottle of premium Texas whiskey to celebrate a great time to buy stocks.